Before bed the midwives wanted to hook me up to a monitor. I’ve since found out it’s not really advisable that early. Plus they asked me to push on the monitor which again I was told after wasn’t a great plan!

As you can see from the picture after, it left quite a mark on my belly where the band was too tight.

The night time midwives showed up and I was in luck it was the two favourites again! They were genuinely interested and knowledgable about the surgery I had gone through. As well as reassuring and comforting when I had wobbly moments.

One of these midwives picked up on cellulitus after the drs had done their rounds on my first day on the ward. They hadn’t spotted it but she instantly saw it and completed some artwork on my belly to track it then called the drs back to confirm what she thought. I ended up on antibiotics, but she was checking the things that the drs weren’t looking for. They were looking at the baby, the scar, my cervix, she was looking at the other things.

On another occasion a woman passed out on the ward, she jumped into action, pressed the emergency buzzer in my bay and got everyone sorted to resolve the issue like a boss!

There was also a lovely lady who came around to take my obs each day. She would always offer a friendly smile and conversation. She was also happy that I was having chats with a lady I met on the observation bay who was having issues with her pregnancy fairly early on. Talking to the nurses/midwives/this other patient kept me sane when I was on my own on the ward.

The ward was a strange place to be. People were there to go into labour. Therefore things would be kicking off at all times of the day/night. 

Most of the night nurses kept quiet whilst creeping around to do obs. But some of them would turn the lights on waking everyone up, even if it’s not an emergency.

This was 2.45am, I woke up thinking it was daylight. Completely disoriented…. Eye mask is a must. As are headphones!

The next few days blurred into one. With my babies coming to visit me at the weekend, they were more interested in the cleaners. And some pretty rude staff members, one of which took my little girl then tried to pass her back to me 🤦‍♀️ I’m not allowed to pick them up and this was a sore point for me so really made me feel like shit. 

There were lots of good nurses, but I would be awaiting their shift on the ward. When they weren’t there over the weekend, it was pretty crap. 

I was awaiting blood test results so was told I’d now be moved tomorrow. So I got settled for bed. But at 9.30pm I was told “you can’t have two beds they are coming to get you” by a really helpful nurse 🙄

I asked if I needed to pack everything up as I knew my husband wasn’t there to help I panicked a little. They said I needed to pack up all my things and then the porters would be there to take me. This included packing a fan, sorting out my suitcase and putting all my eletricals away. Given that I wasn’t meant to lift anything, or walk much this was a step too far. I just wanted to cry. Why on earth were they doing this to me at gone 10pm!? Leave it until the morning for goodness sake. 

The porters finally showed up at 11 to take me. They smashed me into at least 3 walls and bumped me over the elevator without caring. The nurse with me told them to be careful and they apologised but weren’t looking where they were going and I was in pain. 

My meds had also been messed around a bit whilst on HDU so I just felt a bit vulnerable and teary. They took me off the drip, put me back on when they realised they shouldn’t have. Stopped giving me regular pain relief unless I asked for it. I just felt a bit like they didn’t get I wasn’t their usual patient and I hadn’t had a c-section. They kind of just expected me to get up and that be that. 

When I got up to ACU I had a lovely overnight midwife who came and checked I was ok. She then moved me because my tv wasn’t working.

I tried to go to sleep but was upset, anxious and just not feeling ok. I asked for more pain relief and she organised some oramorph for me. She then came to listen to the baby and do my obs as I just had enough and by this point was having a bit of a melt down. I felt like I was being a pain, like the HDU nurses hadn’t understood and now I was paying for it.

I finally managed to get a good nights sleep (despite being woken for meds and obs) and when I woke up properly my husband was there for a much needed cuddle. 

I was soooo hungry when I woke up from the op I just wanted to eat. But I wasn’t allowed anything for the first 24 hours minimum. When I was finally allowed something it was a tiny bowl of soup and jelly. This was my meal for the next 3 meals. Other than toast for breakfast. 

The jelly was ok but the soup was pretty grim. But I was so thankful to eat. 

I managed to stand up and let the nurses change my bed the day after surgery. This was apparently amazing and not expected. I felt pretty good to be fair, and sat in the chair for a while. That day I sent my husband home to be with our babies. He was severely missing them and I knew it would do him the world if good. 

I was having daily scans and lots of check ins to make sure everything was ok. 

On the second day after surgery, I felt like I was on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. In the morning I was encouraged to stand again which was fine, then they wanted me to walk to the toilets… bad idea. I thought I could do it so said yes, but needed my gown doing up. So stood up for them to do that, and was stood there so long that I went light headed and as if I was going to throw up. I felt like I had failed. And my husband wasn’t about for a cuddle. So I just cried a bit and stayed in bed. 

They came back later and asked me if I wanted to try again so I did. And I got to the toilet, yeyyyy. Now the catheter could come out! Thank god, it was killing me. Felt like I had cystitis and it was pulling down quite heavily. Really didn’t help that the baby was kicking a lot! But that was amazing so I didn’t care 🙂 Now I had the catheter out the nurses started to relax. I wanted a tea so they told me to go get one at the beverage bay. Given that I wasn’t supposed to be walking this was a bad idea. I managed it. But took forever (its a 3 min walk at normal pace) and definitely felt like I pushed myself too far. 

Going into the operation I was pretty terrified.

I didn’t get a massive amount of sleep over night. They came and gave me pre-op medication then I settled in for sleep. A lady opposite me was going into labour and although she was fairly quiet there was quite a lot of moving about around her. The woman in the bay next to me was a lot more of a fuss, she kept walking around and was clearly in pain. Kept talking to her husband about her bowl movements and essentially kept me up over night. I know it wasn’t her fault, labour isn’t easy but this is why I hate being on a ward!

I woke up early, had a shower and got dressed ready to go down for surgery. My husband also arrived bright and early having had breakfast on his way over from MacDonalds, I wasn’t allowed anything to eat, but wasn’t very hungry. Was just thirsty and wanting to keep going preparing myself for the surgery that was about to come!

After being taken down to the HDU which was opposite the theatre I had drs coming in to see me before the op, with one having travelled down from my local hospital to watch the surgery and follow my case. This was unexpected but really nice/reassuring to see.

The waiting around for surgery and being taken into surgery was a strange moment, I wasn’t really sure what was going on so I didn’t actually say bye properly to my husband. The drs laughed and I was told, he’s got to stay here I’m afraid so I’ll shut the curtain for you to say bye properly.

I also asked if I should take my underwear off and was told to leave it on. I said goodbye to my husband and went to have my epidural put in. They then told me I needed to have my nickers off, so my husband was delivered them in a lovely little bag! Delightful I’m sure.

The epidural didn’t go in quite as he would have liked the first time, so out it came and back in but a vertebrae down this time. It worked! Then lay on the hospital bed in theatre with soooo many people around doing their bits.

Everyone was kind of in their zone doing their job, and I was attempting to keep calm. I was doing breathing exercises whilst focusing on the tiles on the ceiling, breathing in along one side and out down the other.

The amazing anesthetist was so nice, kept me calm and put me to sleep. “See you on the other side guys” 
I woke up from the op in pretty good spirits. I managed not to hemorrhage (yeyyy!) And the baby did amazingly (massive yeyyy!!!) Within 20 mins of waking up I was cracking jokes at my husbands expense. He was relieved though and said only I could go through major surgery and come out laughing. 

The Drs said they were amazed at how well I was doing and that it couldn’t have gone better. The pictures they took of the surgery are insane! I can’t believe that’s our little baby there!!! I know I’m still on the epidural, but my leg is completely numb. I can’t move it, so it’s a dead weight and feels really weird! 

So good to see my husband again too. I was so worried this wasn’t going to happen. As much as I pretended I was ok, and our goodbye was pretty brief (we’ll be ok, I’ll see you in three hours, love you) I was terrified of everything going wrong and being that statistic. (I cried saying goodbye to my babies yesterday when we were driving to hospital for the same reason). But to my amazement everything has gone perfectly. 
Now for more of the same throughout recovery please!!!!

Time to get admitted!

We went to UCLH for 12pm and were met by the drs and the midwife who would be my fmu midwife. I then had bloods taken and was taken to a scanning room where I had another scan by George and signed all the pre op paperwork. 

Lots of sitting around waiting meant that I had lots of time to do work and keep me distracted. We then went for lunch at The Court which was just around the corner and did a mean burger. I knew it was the last non hospital food for a while so needed to make the most of it. Yum!

They needed us back by 4 and husband needed to head to GOSH to collect the keys for his accommodation. If you aren’t offered this, definitely ask it was a life saver. Essentially it is a room in a house about 10 minutes away meaning that he didn’t have to worry about late night train rides or early morning for that matter. It is provided by GOSH and as we were out of area we were entitled to a room if they had one available.

When we got back they introduced us to Dr who had come over from Belguim and is essentially THE guy for the surgery. He scanned us again, just ensuring everything was ok. 

Everything was a massive blur and to be honest I kept myself busy by doing lots of work. I was too nervous to let myself get nervous if that makes sense. 

I then got admitted and taken up to the antenatal unit where my husband set me up with my extension lead for my chargers and pregnancy pillow. I got ready for bed and we had some ‘normal’ time watching Love Island. Because yes we are addicted!

He then left me for the night and planned to come back the following morning by 6am, when I would be given pre-op medication and taken down for surgery.

Packing time!

I needed to do a mad dash pack, but luckily had been to Primark to stock up on all the clothes I thought would be needed. 

I took a cabin sized suitcase and filled one side with my pregnancy pillow, the other with clothes.

Here are my top tips/must haves:

■Floaty, light dresses that go over the bump easily and keep you cool but make you feel like you’ve actually gotten dressed that day

■Flip flops for the shower

■Slip on slippers to wear about the hospital

■Shorts and top pjs that can be worn under the bump to avoid the scar. Or nighties but I found the shorts helpful under my dresses too when the drs needed to check my bump, listen to baby or scan me.

■Pants without seams down the back – I got bed sores and when I even attempted to wear pants that had a seam it was very very sore! Also big pants that are comfy but again under the bump.

■Pregnancy pillow

■Headphones for the tv

■Eyemask to sleep in

■Knitting or something to keep you occupied

■Wash kit (shower gel, shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, makeup wipes -very useful when you can’t have a shower too- toothpaste, tooth brush, hairbrush, dry shampoo, hairspray)

I would also recommend taking a tablet with you, two of the 4 beds I had during my time there had TVs that didn’t work. If I had ended up in them long term I think I might have gone a bit bonkers!.

The last weekend to enjoy before 12 weeks of bed rest!

This weekend we have taken time out for family and to really enjoy life with our twins. Doing our favourite things – essentially being outside. 

I am so worried about not being able to pick them up or cuddle them or run around outside with them. So am definitely making the most of it! 

I bought them a new paddling pool as a pre-hospital treat and it has had mixed reviews. The little boy is obsessed with it, loves jumping in and diving about whereas the little girl is not ok with being put down and definitely not ok with being put in the water. 

It was an amazing day with them. 

The Sunday was family time! We had our nephews 4th birthday so had a great day playing at his birthday party with lots of cake, cuddles with all my nieces and nephews and even more cuddles with my babies. 

Daddy has gone away on my brothers stag do for the weekend so my mum has come to stay which means only one thing, cake! 

We had such a lovely weekend, going to a local farm where they have loads of birds, goats, sheep, horses, reindeer, pigs and a massive outdoor play area. The babies loved walking around and feeding all the animals, they also lucked out and got a private show as the owls were being fed. Which was very cool. 

The weather was amazing and it was so lovely to walk about and play in the sandpit. They also tried ice cream and absolutely loved it! 

Such a nice dose of normality. My husband also loved his weekend away. He had a right laugh with the boys, wayyyy too much alcohol and some lad activities to go with it. 

It feels like a weight has been lifted. Now we know what we are doing. We just want to get it done! 

On Monday we still hadn’t heard back about another date. We were emailing UCLH from 7am where we were told if we wanted to go ahead tomorrow we needed to go in for blood tests today and they still hadn’t heard about the later date. 

At this point our decision was made. Without even thinking about it we got sorted to go to London and made the journey back up to UCLH. 

We were going ahead with the surgery! 

However when we got there, the drs were all at a conference and the FMU team weren’t sure what we needed. After waiting for an hour, we got a call to let us know they now can’t do the surgery tomorrow and we are now aiming for the 2nd July…which all the drs have confirmed they are free on. 

We had geared ourselves up for this so were massively deflated. But, it meant two more weeks with our babies and two more weeks for our baby to get stronger before the op! 

Time to turn around and go home to wait out the two weeks!

Talk about confusion!