Keep Calm – I’m having a baby THIS MONTH!

I’ve made it to September!!!!! This is the month the baby will come! 

I can’t believe how quickly it has happened. With all the stress taking up the majority of our pregnancy I don’t really feel like I have been able to enjoy it and it has all gone too quickly. 

I was at my nephews birthday today and I had a full on day. My husband was nakered and I feel guilty for having all the lie ins lately so I told him he had to stay in bed. I got up with the twins and had a crazy productive morning: 3 loads of washing, dishwasher done, babies up, dressed, dogs fed, my breakfast, babies fed, coffee for the hubby. Then once the babies had lunch and were down for their nap I made a chocolate cake, got ready and had lunch.

I feel like I’ve done a stupid amount today! But I am so happy to have made it to 34 weeks and September!

On the drive home from my brothers I started thinking back to when we found out. The uncontrollable tears, the sense of why am I getting screwed over again life is shit and not fair. 

Kurnel started to kick me, it is getting extremely uncomfortable now. I remembered how much I used to dread the kicks. In the weeks of uncertainty every kick was like a stab to the heart. I remember crying so much, I wanted the kicks to stop, I wanted everything to go away, I didn’t want be pregnant. I remember so strongly the overwhelming sense of people getting excited over my pregnancy, asking about the kicks, people touching my belly and me just wanting them to stop. I hated the kicks and their excitement made me angry. Even my husband stopped touching the bump. 
Thank god those feelings have gone. Now I want the kicks to stop as they hurt! I still don’t like people touching bump other than the hubby. It’s my baby and I want to protect it/keep it away from people. Not have them feeling like they can rub or kiss it. The kicks also scare me as I know they are unlikely to be able to feel their legs and it’s just because they are floating/inside me they can now. I don’t want any hopes to be raised.

But I know this baby will be ok now and I am so happy to have made it this far!