Ultrasound at our local specialist hospital

At my first scan at our “local” hospital. It’s not really our local hospital but it is the closest one with the required specialists.

Last night we had a bit of an emotional wobble. And to be honest I’m still not over it. I feel like even though we made the decision I am just going through the motions of doing all the appointments. Everything is happening to me and I have no control of it. My husband is also worried they aren’t going to have positive results at the scan. I think pressure is mounting as we are so wanting yo see improvements even though it’s only been a week since being discharged.

We arrived stupidly early as our appointment was at 9am and we didn’t want to risk rush hour traffic. But that meant we got here an hour early and had time to get some breakfast -Happy days! It seems that even 9am appointments can be late though. We got “booked in” in case we wanted to give birth here, more bp, temp, pulse rate, urine samples.

Then waiting for our appointment which was about 15 mins delayed causing my husband more time to think and I think he was stressed a little.

We have just come out of the appointment and are sat in the waiting room now waiting to see a midwife to show us around the ward, the private rooms and where I would end up if I was here. The scanner was applying a bit of pressure which was fairly uncomfortable, especially on the right hand side of the bump and underneath the belly button which appears to still be numb. But was happy with the fact that he could see quite a bit of cerebellum. He also said the ventricles are fairly similar to last weeks measurements at 11 and 9. Fluid levels were good too.

We discussed the various options of where I gave birth and he now wants to let another local hospital know what is going on in case of an emergency. So all possible bases are covered and everyone will know what is going on. Good news though, even more notes!

My dressing can now come off too.

But oddly I don’t feel relieved, I feel very emotional and worried about making more decisions. I don’t care where we give birth, I just want to make sure it is the right place for our baby. Has the best care possible with the best drs. But no one can really say where that is. I just feel completely overwhelmed and as if I just need to go get into bed and cry for a little bit, have a good sleep and then get my arse back into gear.

Waiting in the reception to be shown around the hospital now anyway with horrific acid and uncomfortable chairs making my already numb, bed sore bum and stretched/uncomfortable stomach worse.

Get me home to bed.