Post-op MRI scan

I got wheeled down for my MRI, I’m sure these hospital porters get odder each time I encounter one. This guy was friends with everyone! 

The MRI didn’t go quite to plan. I went in positive thinking it would be fine, I had coped really well at my last one.

This time I wasn’t spoken to at all throughout the scan. Time was going by and I was getting hotter and hotter. I kept saying when they check in with me I’ll ask if I can put a pillow under my ankles as they were at an awkward angle on plastic to fit me on the bed. But no one checked in. What felt like forever passed and I was getting hotter and hotter to the point of feeling like I might have to stop. But kept telling myself they’ll check in soon. 

Eventually I tried talking to them to make sure they could hear me. I didn’t get a response. I was sweating beyond belief, having a panic attack now they weren’t responding and felt like I might faint. I kept willing myself to push on and calm down. But the feeling of passing out was getting stronger, so emergency alarm it was. 

I squeezed the bell, after a bit they came back to ask if I was ok. No I’m going to throw up and pass out I’m too hot. They came to get me and I just felt like I was white. They passed me water and wet towels to put on my neck and by this point I was crying. I felt so ill. But worse I felt like a failure. 

They told me the scans were virtually done, they had gotten the brain complete and the baby had gone to sleep so managed to get the spine pretty much done. I’d been in the machine for 30mins roughly, half the time of the last scan. Not good enough for my liking so said I’d go back in just needed to cool down quickly. They didn’t think it was a good idea and thought they had most of the scans they needed done so were happy. They wheeled me to the toilet where I saw my husband and just cried. I’d failed and they didn’t want to let me continue. 

The worst part, when I got taken back upstairs the midwife said to me in a disappointed tone “you’ve been waiting all week for this!” I knew, but thanks for making me feel better about it. 

Thank God for my husband and moments like this.